the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
