I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
