remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
