Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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