so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I pour the whiskey from now on
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
