WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
