As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
