Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
