I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
vagina is talking i cant
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
