we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
