why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my being single is dangerous.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
