Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
