Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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