I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
