Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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