I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
