is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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