I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
did i walk over a car last night?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
