dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
