were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
