More tranny stories later!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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