Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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