New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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