Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
