I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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