I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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