This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
