Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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