Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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