AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
