I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
