I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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