he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
