how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
