his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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