if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
