thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
