Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
