I skipped work to stalk him.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
