You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
no you cant smoke seaweed
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
