His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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