sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
