he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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