I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
