So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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