i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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