just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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