I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
