foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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