i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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